Case Study Two: A Woman with Two Children and Many Lovers

Dora presents very intensely worried about her seventeen (17) year old son. 

This child seems to be very depressed, given to feelings of being lost, powerless, and without any direction.  He has even attempted suicide. 

He has an older brother who seems fine.  They have different fathers.  The mother has had a tumultuous history with her mother and has done previous work around her longing to know she was loved.

Dora has had many sexual partners, three marriages, two sons, and an abortion and is currently married to her fourth husband. 

After much fact finding during the interview, I ask Dora to assemble to following representatives:  A person to represent her many lovers before her first marriage (there are not enough people present to have each one represented separately), her three husbands, the aborted child, the fathers of her sons as they were not her husbands and her current and fourth husband.

Figure One:  Mother Worried about Her Son, Son of a Sperm Donor
(The arrow indicates the direction that the person is facing.)

Dora configured the representatives in the above fashion.

As one can readily see, there was much to realign and much to release for all systems to come into a flowing order. 

Lovers were before husbands, the abortion was between husband one and two and the father of that child had been “forgotten” and had to be included.

The “secret” that was being held in the system was: each born son had been fathered by separate sperm donors, both unknown to the mother and the sons, as well as, the fourth and current husband.

For purposes of this article, the important and really humbling feature was the sperm donors. 
The son, who was at issue, was fathered by a sperm donor who had a great deal of interest in his son. 

This father donated his sperm because he felt that many women may have wanted children. He genuinely desired to be of service to those women, and longed to be known and included as the rightful father of this son. 

This son absolutely calmed down when the secret was revealed and he was placed by his sperm donor father. 

On the other hand, the father of the other son donated sperm for money and had no interest whatsoever in his son.

 When that became known, this son was placed by his mother and felt steady and strong.